Puberty...HELP!

You know you’re in trouble when your son, then almost 12 years old, asks “just what is the fascination with boobies?” And then that same evening follows up with, “can somebody please explain to me just what exactly a prostitute is?” You would think the hubby would help, isn’t he the expert on all this stuff? From the moment I heard him yelling “honey”, I knew it was time… Time to have ‘The Talk’! And, like most things, I’d have to take the reins on this one too. What to do? Well hit Facebook of course…  As I asked for advice friends were, as always, more than willing to help.

I had numerous book suggestions and lots of advice from parents who had previously endured this pain before. But I needed to be careful. Dr. J, our Neuropsychologist, had explained to us how delicately we need to approach this. Josh’s obsessive tendencies could start him on a path that… well let’s not go there if you know what I mean!  I sat in the Dr.’s office while he explained the importance of ‘parental controls’. And that it’s possible he could someday get addicted to porn if he encounters certain video games or websites… SERIOUSLY!!! I closed my eyes, pictured my baby (then 11), placed my hands over my ears and began chanting “la la la”! Not really, but that’s what I wanted to do. At that time I did what most parents would do, I ignored him!

Fast forward a year and the boy’s got questions, lots of questions… After reviewing several books and websites it became clear to me. I would have to handle this just like I’ve handled everything else, baby steps.

Step one… No more CSI episodes on Friday night with daddy, especially CSI Miami! Nothing against CSI, I love the show, but for my 12 year old… way too many prostitutes with big boobies for me to have to explain!

As I slowly explained to him how his body works and the differences between the male body and female body he exclaimed, “Stop! My ears can’t take this much more, they’re burning.” I soon realized he wasn’t ready for a whole lot more than the basics!

I need HELP my friends! How should I approach this? Every time I begin to take a few more baby steps on explaining his ever changing body he exclaims, “Stop! My ears…”

He’s getting older and I’m not sure how slow I can take this. We’ve gone the book route, pictures and all, but he seemed well…”Stop! My eyes…”  How do you get your Aspie son to truly understand ‘the birds and the bees’?  Maybe I’m trying too hard. He is after all a few years emotionally behind his peers. What do you think? I think I’m going to have to take my cues from him…

As you can tell, I’m one clueless mama when it comes to ‘The Talk’. How do you get started when all you hear is “Stop"? I’m open to all suggestions!  Maybe for now I should be happy we’ve started with a solid, though basic, foundation. Each day we’ll build on that until he is fully informed on ALL aspects of ‘The Talk’. This is turning out to be my biggest challenge to date. I’m sure there will be MANY more blogs to come about this journey into puberty… UGH… I’m so not ready, but I know with each day there needs to be a new lesson to teach him so the journey can become complete. Seriously… HELP! 

Josh ~ “Mommy I know what the fascination with boobies are, they are soft and squishy like stuffed animals. I love stuffed animals!”

Me ~ “Yeah, let’s go with that!”

 

Thanks again and HELP!

Ann