The Year In Review... Top 10 Accomplishments According To The Professor!

We've cracked open the accomplishment jar and WOW...what a year it's been!!! There are just too many to recap here, but our Professor has agreed to share his top 10 accomplishments of 2013. I really wish he'd let me share them all. Some are just too funny!!!


#1) I went skiing in February. It was my second time on skis, but my first time really going down a big mountain. Everyone cheered me on and couldn't believe I never skied before!

#2) I came in first place in the Star Wars trivia contest at my school's Star Wars club! Mom said, "that doesn't surprise me!"

 

#3) I continued to master my Lego building skills! My favorite creation was "Attack Of The Zombies!" I love everything that is zombies. My favorite zombie show is The Walking Dead but my mom won't always let me watch it!

#4) I helped lead the way in our school's 2nd annual "Light It Up Blue" day. On April 2nd every year we wear blue to show our support for people with Autism. My school also did a lot of fund raising in April to raise money for an Autism walk I do with my family and friends ever year. More than $1,500 was raised by the school, and my favorite fund raiser was the dunk tank. It was so funny to see the teachers get dunked by the students!!!

#5) I did the kids Marathon in June and ran the final mile of a real marathon!

#6) On June 2nd I helped my mom, and team, cut the ribbon at the beginning of the Walk For Autism. I was very proud to be the team leading the way. It made me feel very happy inside! I couldn't believe all the people who came...

#7) It felt really good to get some awards this year too. My favorites were the school award for commitment to my school's community, and the Autism Speaks Silver Team award for raising over $3,600!!!

#8) I finally made it through an entire baseball game with my dad. It made me feel good to see him so happy! Next we are going to go to a hockey game in January.

#9) Dad and I rode the roller coaster. I am very proud of myself for going on that ride. I'm happy I did it because NEVER again...NEVER again!

# 10) I turned  13 and went to my very first PG-13 movie! And my parents are letting me play a few more mature video games too! Whoo Hoo!!!
(Not too mature though!)

I am so proud of Josh and all of his accomplishments this past year, and I love all those he chose to share. There are SO MANY more...the list could go on, top 100 perhaps?!? And I can't stress enough what a great experience this has been for all of us. One lesson we learned was that no accomplishment is too small. Each is a stepping stone to a bigger goal... To see the joy on his face as he relived some of those forgotten moments was priceless!

So now I urge you to find an empty jar and start filling it with all your accomplishments throughout 2014 (It could even be a family jar). They can be big, small or even silly... Maybe you'll even overcome something you've been working on for years, like riding a bike...hint, hint Professor!


Thank you again for taking the time to read my little blog, and may this year be the happiest, healthiest and most accomplished yet...

~Ann~

First Rule Of Autism...TALK About Autism!

As time goes by I am often reminded of one of the best decisions we ever made as parents of a child with Autism. That decision...to always talk about Autism with Josh. To always keep our dear professor informed, and educated, about his diagnosis of Aspergers. Knowledge is power and as an empowered self advocate there will be no stopping him! Not just educating him about his Autism Spectrum Disorder, but making sure he realized what a large spectrum it is... NO two people with Autism are alike. I'm sure you've heard the saying, if you've met one person with Autism then you've met one person with Autism. Lesson number one...truer words were never spoken!

I'm sure I've mentioned this before but just to recap...
From the moment we received that "official" diagnosis in 2008 the subject of Autism was introduced to Josh Immediately. First they were just words without much meaning to him at all. Soon, as time went by, the meanings would become clear to him. So clear in fact that he now feels obligated to try to help those on the the spectrum with more severe forms of Autism by spreading awareness and acceptance. Not just at home but in his community as well. "I think it's important for me to help people with Autism who can't talk. I may have some idea of what they are thinking." ~ Josh
BTW, his favorite book on the subject... All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome by Kathy Hoopmann (I highly recommend it).

A lot has happened since 2008... He's gone from being diagnosed with PDD NOS to Aspergers in 2010. Then in 2013, under the new guidelines laid out in the DSM-5, he falls under the new category of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). That's a lot to digest...The education of Autism will never end, I too am always learning!

It makes me so proud to see him in action. He takes great pleasure in doing walks for Autism, raising money and awareness for those in need. During his school's annual "Light It Up Blue" day he enjoys sharing what he has learned with others. Continuing to pass along all the valuable lessons he is learning along the way. I consider it a privilege to have a front row seat to his "sharpening" those self advocacy skills he is sure to need in the near future.

Why am I writing about this now? Well... While at a friends house yesterday Josh was playing with this friend on his new Wii U. His friend was excited to play with him, but Josh was also interested in the usual XBOX 360. Although we spoke about doing what others like to do as well, he still gets "stuck" on what he wants to do. This little boy he was with is so amazing. He told his mom that it was okay, and that he understood why Josh wanted to play something else. You see... this fine young man knows about Josh's Autism. How?!? Josh told him! WOW! I was thrilled that he spoke up for himself...and proud that it led this boy to ask his mom, "what is Autism?" And from there a discussion took place, making one more individual Autism aware. My boy...changing the world and he doesn't even know it. He's a natural at it!!!

When a parent asks me, "how did you tell Josh about his diagnosis?" I remind them of the first rule of Autism...TALK about Autism. Start off small and as they get older, and can understand more, share more. Before you know it you too will have a thirteen year old self advocate teaching you a thing or two!

~Ann~

An unexpected kick in the "butt"!!!

Well... I started this blog last year with one intention in mind, to share with others our journey with Autism. The ups and downs of raising a child with Aspergers, and all that our little professor teaches us every day. We were off to a good start but I must admit I let "life" get in our way... I think it was a combination of the professor becoming a teenager and my confusion as to how much, or how little, I should share about that with all of you. Then there was the internal struggle I faced as to where we should focus our support for raising funds for Autism research and awareness.

Ahh... Who to support? Who not to support? I could write a ten page blog post about all the articles I've read not only in regards to Autism Speaks, but other organizations as well. We have always supported many Autism charities, including Autism Speaks! And every year we do the Greater Waterbury Walk Now For Autism Speaks... Whether you agree with that or not is up to you. However, I do ask that you respect our decision. A lot more could be done within the Autism community if more organizations decided to work together instead of tearing each other down. There are times that I believe we are our own worst enemy. And it deeply saddens me... And I'm very disappointed in myself for ALMOST letting the "haters" get to me this past month. I was even considering pulling out of the 2014 walk! Then a very smart boy said something to me that put it all into perspective... "Nobody is perfect and not everyone can agree on everything! Nobody has been teaching the world about Autism like Autism Speaks. I want to keep on walking for the people with Autism who need more help than I do. Everyone is different and some need more help than others!" ~ "My" Professor
I'm just going to leave it at that and NEVER question myself again!

Now, as for the how much or how little to share of "life with an Aspie teen"... I've been STUCK on this one for months!!! It all began when my, not so little, professor got upset one day and deleted the FB page he and I shared together about our journey with Autism. He has since regretted that and did admit he likes sharing stories that may help others through, in his words, "a difficult time or two." And this blog is the perfect place for that...

So what was keeping me from writing??? I guess just a really hard kick in the "butt"!!! Then I ran into another Autism mom who asked about the blog and why I haven't written lately? We had a lovely conversation that ended with my promise to write at least one post a month, hopefully two! I slowly got started... Then the REAL KICK I NEEDED!!! I received the most unexpected e-mail from my Aunt and here is just a bit of what she wrote;
"I came upon your blog. It is wonderful, beautifully written, inspirational ,honest and heartwarming. I can't tell you how impressed I am with these tender stories that recognize the courage, love and joy of this wonderful middle school boy named Josh. I hope you keep writing them. It helps us to understand the life that Josh faces and how he embraces it with such courage and dignity. I have passed this on to some other family members. And Ann keep writing. I hope one day that you publish them. The one theme that runs consistently through your blogs is Love...Josh's love for his family and his family's love for Josh."

And with that being said, I'm finished with this post and off to begin another...


Best wishes for the happiest and healthiest of holidays for all of you!

~Ann~

Congratulations! You're an Asperkid! Let's Celebrate YOU!

It's just another 'typical' Saturday afternoon... Then, while wondering around outside, he spots something by the garage door! What is it? A package addressed to Josh. Hmm... What could it be? After opening the white box a discovery was made, a personalized box wrapped in tissue and confetti just for him! Inside the box were lots of goodies specially picked for him!

Congratulations! You're an Asperkid! Let the excitement begin as we go through the items one by one. And let's find out what Josh has to say about them all. Who better to begin this celebration than an Asperkid himself? Here we go...


1. After opening the package and removing the confetti he notice a bright yellow shirt. On the front upper corner it read, Let's be different together and on the back... Asperkids, AMBASSADORS OF awesomess.
Let's just say, he LOVES it and couldn't agree more with the message! I'm thinking mom and dad need one of these too now!

2. Next he discovered the Bubble Wrap Emergency Stress Buster! Having a stressful day? No problem! Just grab a handful of bubble wrap and pop away... It really is poppable awesomeness, we needed to use some the other day. Whew, it came in really handy!

3. How did Jennifer Cook O'Toole know Josh's favorite color was green? When he unwrapped the petri dish "bacterial" soap and noticed it was green...all smiles! "I'm going to save this for a special occasion" he said! "Or maybe just keep it forever!" He's a collector so...

4. Now the next has become my favorite! SWISH (from Think Fun), a card game that improves your spatial IQ! Josh is still getting the hang of it, but it's sure to become a family FAVORITE!

5. A Blobimal DIY Putty Monster was his next discovery. "This is SO COOL" he exclaimed! I have to agree with him on this one. You can create your own putty monster with lots of monster parts included. Such a GREAT sensory activity for the kiddos to get involved with!

6. A little silver tin, what could this be? Well, there's an Asperkid's Fidget Bracelet inside! "Now I can look cool and keep my fingers busy at the same time", he said. And it was a camouflage colored one too, "double score"!

7. When he saw the next item he backed away a bit at first. It was a small fragrance bottle and like many Aspies, he's not too big on strong smells. But wait a minute, let's read the bottle... Simple, subtle, singular scents. Each day. Everywhere. Pick-Me-Up Cologne Spray. He took a chance and sprayed a little on the back of his hand. A smile began to form and then, "Oh My God, I smell so good! Can I wear this to school tomorrow? I believe this will be very pleasing to the girls at school!" I think I may just have my hands full now...

I can't thank Jennifer Cook O'Toole, and Asperkids, enough for making Josh feel so special. Although all of the items in the box were amazing, the note attached said it all:
Josh,
Congratulations on being an Asperkid! Being different is exactly what makes being a hero - a dreamer - a world changer possible. Always be proud of who you are, because we sure are!

XO Jennifer

It doesn't end there... He received a very special video from Jennifer herself. 15 minutes of complete inspiration!!! She really knows how to make an Asperkid feel special!!!

Thanks again Jennifer, you truly are an inspiration who knows just what to say and do to make our Asperkids feel like TRUE Ambassadors of Awesomess!

XOXO Ann


If you would like to have your Asperkid feel as special as Josh does right now, go to Asperkids.com/AKShop and get your Congratulations! You're an Asperkid! kit today! A true CELEBRATION in a box!!!
http://asperkids.com/shop/kit-congratulations-youre-an-asperkid/

Mother/Son Heart to Heart

When I settled into my comfy spot on the sofa, I had no idea a very important conversation between the Professor and myself was about to take place. Believe me when I tell you, I wasn’t prepared for it at all! My answers to his dilemma came straight from the heart. Whether you agree with them or not, it’s what I felt he needed to hear and would understand. Mother knows best… I think???

It all started with a very shaky boy walking into the room, you could feel the anxiety in the air. Uh oh, I thought, what now?  I could tell he needed to talk, but was going to have some trouble revealing his deep secret.

Me   ~ "What's wrong honey?"

Prof. ~ (voice shaking) "I don't know how to talk about this. I'm confused and nervous, don't think I'm silly mommy!"

Me   ~ "You can tell me anything. I would never make fun of you or anything you have to say, nothing you say is silly."

Prof. ~ "I don't know how to get a girlfriend!"

And that is where this little heart to heart all began...

It breaks my heart to see him so upset over this! Once he felt comfortable he told me about a girl he loves, the same girl he's loved since last year. To protect the innocent we'll just call her Amanda. Amanda is an adorable girl in the same grade as him. Very sweet and I can understand why he is 'crushing' so hard on her. He told me, "I really didn't want to admit it to anyone but I can't stop thinking about her." (Sigh) Now I'm confused! What do I tell him? What will he understand? And will what I have to say make him feel any better about his situation? I would soon find out...

I started out by reassuring him of what a great kid he is. He's smart, funny, honest, trustworthy, and oh so handsome as well. ANY girl would be LUCKY to have a boy, such as himself, be interested in her. However, life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to. I told him, "not every girl you like will like you right back. And you won't be interested in every girl that comes chasing after you either, and believe me there will be plenty of them!" He giggled and said he understood, but was still not sure how to get a girl to be his girlfriend.

First, your only 12 so there is no need to worry too much about this. Second, not everyone needs to have a girlfriend. It's always okay to just hang out with your friends and simply have a good time. However, if someday you do want to have a girlfriend you'll have to start by talking to her first. I'm pretty sure Amanda has no idea the Prof. likes her. He can only gaze from afar for so long. So my advice to him, just say hello! When you go to school tomorrow, just say "good morning Amanda or hi Amanda!" Sometimes the hardest part is just getting past those very first words, no matter how small they may seem. To him this will be a huge accomplishment, I'm hoping he will at least say hello to her. Our conversation did go a little deeper, but he asked that I not write about some aspects of it. I'm going to honor that request of his, it's really not needed in order to get my point across anyway.  

By the end of the evening I think we were both feeling good about our conversation. Tears were shed, mostly nervous/ anxious tears by him. By me the tears came from many places. I cried because my boy was in emotional pain (and I can't protect him from this kind of pain), I cried because he had finally confided in me, I cried because he trusted me with his secret, and I cried because we had just had a major mother/son heart to heart. A typical conversation between a mother and her son about a very real issue that ALL tween boys will be going through, not just my awesome Aspie son! So now I wait for his arrival home from school tomorrow... Gulp, let's hope this goes well!

Well school is over and I asked the Prof. how his day was. They started taking CMT's today (state testing) so he talked about that mostly. "Did you talk to Amanda today?", I asked. "Not so much, I just looked at her and said hi." JUST... that's HUGE! I told him how proud I was of him. Just looking and saying hi took great courage on his part. That's one word more than he had said to her the day before! "Every time you talk to her it will get easier, no need to rush anything. Remember you're only 12 and there will be many more girls along the way." UGH, did I just say that? Did I just admit my boy is growing up? Will I be ready to let go? Ready to let go, probably not just yet!

As I watch my boy maturing right before my eyes there's no denying it, he's growing up! I'm well aware that this was a very small hurtle we've just cleared, but it's a start in the right direction. Now that he knows he can trust me with his deepest secrets, I'm hopeful he won't hesitate to come and talk to me again. While many of you will be reading the latest 50 Shades of whatever, I'll be reading several social skills books for teens on the spectrum. This mom will be so ready for whatever the Professor throws my way next, or will I? Probably not, but I'll do my best!!!

~ Ann
Here's a pic of the two of us cuddling on the sofa after our little chat last night...No makeup, bathrobe, tear stained cheeks and all!